In 1997, the residents at the community meeting at the Live Oak Living Center spent several days discussing an article in the The New York Times that gave new doctors poor scores for their bedside manner. The elders of Live Oak concluded that every staff person who relates to them must have a good bedside manner. So, they collectively wrote the following description of their expectations for good Bedside Manner to share with their caregivers. It became a key element of the curriculum for the orientation of new staff members and in the regular in-service program. Feel free to use it in your organization and please attribute it to the elders of Live Oak.
The Live Oak Community Council of Elders has been discussing bedside manner. Bedside manner is that quality of doctors, nurses and nursing assistants that can either make you feel good and happy or that can make you feel sick and worse than you were to begin with.
We know that our caregivers are here because they want to do right by us. So we share our thoughts about bedside manner.
• When you come into our rooms, you are entering our homes. Please, knock on the door. Remind us of your name. Some of us are quite forgetful and we may be embarrassed to ask.
• Please, tell us what you are going to do--even if you think we may not understand.
• Please, let us know that you care.
• Please, listen to us. Ask us how we would like to be helped. Then try to do it our way. Just like nurses are all different, so are we.
• Please, try to give each of us at least three hugs a day. People need hugs in order to live. It'll be good for you too.
• Please, touch us gently. We're fragile. If we express pain or discomfort, slow down and try another way. Ask us for our cooperation.
• Please, speak kindly to us.
• Please, try to give us choices. Let us pick out the clothes we wear today. Ask us if want make-up, or want to go to community meeting. If we don't answer, do what you think is right. If we do answer, try to do what we want.
• Please, try to understand what is wrong with us.
• Please, try to be patient. We know that some of us are pretty difficult. Try to be forgiving.
• For our part, we know all this is a two-way street. We need to speak nicely to you and to be cooperative. We'll try to teach this to our fellow residents.
